Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Driving Into The Sun

Last weekend my family traveled to Snowflake Arizona to visit my husband’s family. We were on the highway heading home just as the sun was setting. As we drove, the sun descended until its light shown directly in front of us. We were literally driving into the light. Insert joke here. J This was a beautiful sight, yet a bit dangerous. Because of the bright light we couldn’t see anything around us. I had to snap a picture.

Life can be this way. We set our course, know our destination, but are blinded sometimes. We have to go on faith that we will reach our end destination as long as we keep moving forward. We just have to go slow and be very, very careful not to lose sight of what’s ahead.

Two things happened to me since then.

First, I was looking for something I lost… (still can’t find it btw).What I did find was a rejection letter from a literary agent that I had received in January of 2008. It’s kind of depressing to realize you are in the same place you were six years ago. All of those feeling of self-doubt that I hate started seeping into my soul. Oh self-doubt, you evil villain, you! To be fair it was my first manuscript and it was really bad.

The second thing that happened, I received my acceptance letter from ASU. Boy, that was fast. Of course I was expecting in. What? Were they going to turn away my tuition? I don’t think so. And though this is what I wanted, I started to feel a bit overwhelmed. Insert self-doubt here. 

So, here I am today with mixed emotions. I ran across this picture on my phone, (the one above). I remembered the impressions I had when looking into that blinding light. I was reminded that I did have my destination in my sights. I don’t know how long it will take, but I do know I am on the right course. I am not the same author I was six years ago. I have studied, taken classes, attended critique groups, all in order to hone my craft.

I am also not the same person. I am not waiting for things to happen to me. I am moving forward… “keep moving forward,” as one of my favorite little cartoon characters kept saying. I may not be able to see my path clearly at times, but if I keep my focus on the future I want, I know I will reach the destination I have locked in my sights.