A Celebratory Feast

There is something euphoric about that moment when you walk out of your last class following a last final.  You want to just up and click your heals and shout out. Of course I did none of these things, but I did have a smile plastered to my face for the rest of the day.

So, how did I celebrate? I had a feast! Well kind of. First, I stopped by the always convent vending machines at school and purchased my Grandma’s chocolate, chocolate chip cookie and a Dr. Pepper. Those two items got me through some tough times this semester.  Which explains why I couldn’t lose those last 10 pounds.  Anyways, the feasting did not stop there. Next, I stopped by my most favorite restaurant, Pita Jungle and loaded up on humus, chicken, pita bread, and of course steamed veggie’s to offset the Dr. Pepper and cookies.  It’s been a few days and I am still full. Yum!

I normally don’t overindulge but this has been a pretty intense 4 months (and who are we kidding, there is something about food and women). Not only did I take way more credits than any sane person would, I also agreed to help out a past Geology Professor by speaking at a Geological Conference in Denver, that took place back in October. No I am not a geology major. I had done a lab that she wanted me to present in a 15 minute PowerPoint presentation/ question/answer session. Holy Moly, this was the scariest, most out of my comfort zone thing I have ever done.

Why did I do it? Well, I told myself a year and a half ago, when I decided to set out on this new course, that I was not going to let opportunities pass me by. I don’t want to look back and feel I missed out on a growing experience because I was afraid of failure. It’s also important for me that my kids know they can do hard things, that failure has many definitions, one being to never put yourself out there. So, when the teacher asked, I said sure, (It helped that the school funded this little adventure). Did I mention how scared I was? In case you were wondering, I was scared. I have never been around so many extremely intelligent people. I was a little star struck by all of their genius. Muscles and good looks fade but intelligence is forever, I'm just sayin'. I smiled and head nodded a lot.

After my presentation I had the afternoon off to stroll around downtown Denver all by myself. This may sound lame but it was actually fabulous. The weather was beautiful, and historic Denver is beautiful and did I mention I was alone? Staying in a hotel room alone for one night is pretty awesome too.

16th street Mall

Because of the work I did for this I was nominated for the Student Leadership Award for MCC.  We joke around here that they needed to fill their “old lady quota.” Truthfully, I didn’t really want to go to the ceremony. I felt a little out of place, but then I remembered why I had given the presentation in the first place.  So I went. I was only a little uncomfortable when they were talking about me, (I don’t like to be the center of attention, nor talked about). All in all, it was good for me. All of this that I am doing, school, writing, putting myself out there on my blog, stretching myself, doing hard things… is good for me. I have to remind myself of this from time to time.

This pic reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry is dating the woman that looks scary in bad lighting. Yeah, I have no idea why I look like a raccoon.

So, my semester is over. Straight A’s 3 semesters running, by the way. (What is that sound you are hearing? Oh, it's me tooting my own horn. :) I now have my associates and I am ready to focus on some other things for a little while.  And maybe lose those last 10 pounds, who knows?

Full Speed Ahead

Starting a blog has been something I have been encouraged to do for years, but the idea of putting my ideas out there for the viewing public very near gives me hives. (I know it's a bizarre statement coming from an author).

A few years ago my youngest (of four) started school. I found myself asking what all of us stay-at-home moms ask ourselves during this transition phase... "What now?" This question was just the start. Follow up questions like, "What do I want?" and "Who really am I?" and "Am I the same person I was before my "me" became "us"?"  started to clog my think maker. This was a really rough year for me. To be honest, I was a bit lost. I have always known who I was and had a pretty healthy sense of my worth, yet I felt all of those things slipping. 

During the following summer my mother's struggle with cognitive issues hit a crescendo. This was a major eye opening experience for me. (I think we have all had that slap in the face when we see our own mortality) At the age of 35 I realized I no longer wanted to put off all of the goals from years past that I had stuck on the back-burner. All of those "somedays" started nagging me somewhere near the adventurous part of my brain. 

In a matter of days I signed myself up for 13 credit hours at the local community college. (Those who know me know it is pretty much impossible for me to do anything halfway. Some people may think this is a good quality, but the truth is it can be kind of annoying for anyone who has to function in my orbit.) I was married at 21 and had my first child at 23. Between high school and my marriage I worked and played. This is one of those "if only" aspects of my life.  I am proud to say that in three weeks I will have my Associates degree. Then, on to Arizona State University in the fall. (I am majoring in English and then thinking Law School....but that story is for another post).

My next step (or goal) was to get back into writing. I had written several novels up to this point, but had taken a 4 year break. So, I sat down at my computer (this was one month into my second semester) and two months later had a 100,000 word rough draft of the first novel in my young adult epic fantasy series completed. My next step was of course to edit, edit, and then edit some more (this is a never ending process that I have been trudging through the last 10 months).

The last "someday" nagging at me was to start blogging as a way to talk about my writing, and the overall growth process I have been embarking on in my life. Funny how for me this is the goal that is causing me the most anxiety. I have put it off so many times I almost wrote it off of my list. Deciding that I had better stop being a total weeny, I signed up for a Social Media class this semester. I figured this would force me to face my fears. And look! Here I am! So far so good. My fingers are not bleeding as I am typing this and so far my self esteem is still in a relatively good place. 

So... ready, set, go.  It is full speed ahead for this girl.